The Heart of Jealousy


Over the course of my life, I have had my fair share of people making very rash judgments about me. Knowing in my heart that the judgements were rarely based on truth, I did the only logical thing I knew to do; I explained myself in great detail. I shared my heart, my thought process, my finances, anything to give the one judging me a clearer picture of the reality of my situation. Doing so seemed like the right thing to do until the day God opened my eyes to why people say such harsh things based on very little factual information and what my response should be from a biblical perspective.


By understanding the root of why such judgements occur, I gained a new perspective. When we feel jealous of someone else’s situation, it reveals a fear that has taken root in our hearts. That fear magnifies insecurities which is the fuel that ignites anger, giving the enemy the perfect set up to instill lies and twist the truth. As Yoda said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.” Matthew 15:18 says, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.” The sad reality is when we don’t understand where the anger comes from we often lash out at others in an attempt to make ourselves feel better. This never results in peace or understanding because as the verse states, a defiling has already taken place. I went to the dictionary and found that defile means to make unclean or impure; to corrupt the purity or perfection of. Synonyms are impair, violate, desecrate. Once those words leave our lips, we reveal the corruption that has taken place in our hearts and we cause emotional and spiritual damage to take place in our souls. We have to understand that once this damage is done if we don’t go to God for healing, we start hurting those around us.

Proverbs 15:28 says, “Lovers of God think before they speak, but the careless blurt out wicked words meant to cause harm.”

In Luke 6:43-45, Jesus teaches on how to determine whether we have a good heart or an evil heart by using the analogy of a fruit tree. “You’ll never find choice fruit hanging on a bad, unhealthy tree. And rotten fruit doesn’t hand on a good, healthy tree. Every tree will be revealed by the quality of fruit it produces. Figs or grapes will never be picked off thorn trees. People are known in this same way. Out of the virtue stored in their hearts, good and upright people will produce good fruit. But out of the evil hidden in their hearts, evil ones will produce evil. For the overflow of what has been stored in your heart will be seen by your fruit and will be heard in your words.”


Once I gained understanding that the responses from others had nothing to do with me, God shared what my responsibility is after such judgements occur. Now what He told me shocked me and it will likely shock you as well if you are like me and have a desire to be understood. God told me that we don’t owe anyone an explanation for who we are. We are His and as long as we are right in His eyes, nothing else matters because we answer to Him and Him alone. Let me be very clear here, if there is any truth to what has been said about us, we must go to the Father and seek His counsel. God can use anyone to highlight areas of our lives that need healing and correction. None of us are perfect and we are all on a journey of learning and growing that doesn’t stop until Jesus calls us home.

Now this is where things get difficult. We then have to make a choice. Do we continue to allow such abuse to take place or do we choose to rid ourselves of people that aren’t on our side? Choosing to stay in relationship with such people gives the enemy direct access to destroy us and the relationship so I choose to set healthy boundaries.

If by reading this you find yourself on the side of judgement, go to the Father and ask Him to reveal the fears buried deep in your heart. Let Him begin to heal those broken places and break the bondage you are chained to. If you read this and have been the one being judged, rest in knowing God loves you and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Set boundaries and let God do what only He can do.

Regardless of what side of the fence you find yourself on, make a decision today to do your part to be part of the solution not the problem. Relationships are never easy and they are even harder when we make assumptions instead of seeking to understand. The number one need of all people is to know and be known so next time you find yourself on the judgement side of the fence, take a leap of faith and go to that person for clarity. Building relationships start by getting to know others on a more intimate level and doing so eliminates the assumptions from being made. Let’s all vow to do just that and watch what happens!

I would love to hear personal testimonials as a result of hearing this word. God Bless!





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